Through the Fire » a blog by Amy Wenzel about faith in Jesus Christ, healing, restoration and the power of the Holy Spirit

Alright, let’s move this story along!  If you are just joining us, you will want to read Part I, and Part II before continuing.  So I left off stating how God gave me perfect peace David would be healed, and how I chose to believe that we are promised healing in God’s word.   After that shift, whenever anyone asked me about David, I had no qualms telling them that I knew what the outcome would be.  I’m in awe of this grace God gave to carry me through the storm. I simply cannot imagine if I had spent the past year living in fear.  He is so faithful to us!!  I’m not saying there weren’t tremendous ups and downs – it’s all been a terrible trial in many other ways.  Choosing alternative treatment in lieu of chemo and radiation put us in a very difficult position.  We had to justify that decision to astonished and concerned friends and family members,  and then in the wake of the trauma we completely changed our lifestyle to treat cancer.

Even though God told us clear as day to take that route, the details of following through were a nightmare from my perspective.  Ask me now much I enjoyed relearning how to shop, cook and eat, while going through the anger, cravings, withdrawals, and depression due to the complete loss of our normal way of life.  Suddenly life felt so grim and serious. Not to mention simultaneously working to keep my photography business going and provide income after the huge setback of unexpected medical bills, canceled photography workshops, etc…It was all so taxing.  We had to hire someone part time to help us with the cooking, cleaning and juicing just so we didn’t end up committed.

Sorry for the complain fest, maybe someone should call the whambulence.  But seriously, I remember one day I was just so emotionally drained and HUNGRY.  All I wanted in life was ice cream, but David couldn’t have ice cream so I didn’t want to eat it either.  Sick of all the vegetables and gluten free quinoa and despicable health food, my body threw a cataclysmic tantrum, driving me to take off my shoes, crawl in bed, pull the covers over my head a bawl hysterically.  Poor David.  He didn’t know what to do, so he quietly entered the room, placed a healthy Lara fruit bar next to me, and trepidly exited without a word.  I picked up the grotesque Lara bar and chucked it as hard as I could against the wall, pulled the covers back over my head and cried harder.  Ice cream, people.  That’s all the girl wanted.  To say the least, it really felt like our personhood, marriage and emotions were stretched to the limit.

I explain all that because ss amazing as it is to know Jesus, He doesn’t take all of our problems away does He?  But He carries us and sustains us through them in a way that nothing else and no one else ever could.  I cried more tears at his feet than ever in my life.  I grew closer to Him than ever in my life.  Many nights I fell asleep by imagining my arms wrapped desperately around His neck of my Jesus crying on His shoulder.  On a couple of sacred occasions He appeared in my dreams, putting his arm around me, comforting me, talking with me, even praying for me.  I cannot tell you the impact those dreams had on my view of Him.  Sometimes on rough days I can still conjure up the feeling of his arm around me and his love and concern over my problems.  What a sweet Savior.

As we settled into more of a routine with our lifestyle things started to feel more normal again. I imbibed in ice cream from time to time.  =)  And as I grew in the knowledge of healing scriptures and intercessory prayer, I stood confident in the truth that we truly can take authority over sickness and disease because of the death and resurrection of Jesus.  We can pray, intercede, and travail to remove any hindrance that might keep our loved ones or ourselves from receiving miraculous healing.  God raised up several intercessors to pray with me in faith for David over the long haul. (I love you guys!)  I’m so thankful for everything God taught me about how to activate my faith, and how to claim with authority the things that we have been promised in His Word, tearing down strongholds through intercession and putting satan under my feet.  One of my favorite verses of late says, “He gives us the necks of our enemies.” (Psalm 18:40)

Supernatural, miraculous healing is still in operation today through the power of Jesus name.  It is being poured out all over the world.  The lame walk, the blind see, sickness and disease are vanishing with a prayer.   I do believe the Bible teaches that it is God’s will to heal us.  There was never one sick person who came to Jesus for healing that Jesus said to him, “No, I want you to stay sick so you can learn something.”   In fact, Jesus said quite the opposite.  He said things like, “I want to heal you.”  He said, “As you have believed, let it be done for you.”  And, “Your faith has healed you.”  Therefore, we don’t have to just hope for healing, praying with our fingers crossed as though we need to convince God.  God is already on our side. We don’t have to beg Him to do the things He already wants to do.  When you pray in line with the will of God (healing, deliverance, his kingdom come) you know that you have whatever you ask of Him.  So what role does our faith have in all of this?

Everything is possible for him who believes.  Mark 9:23

When praying for healing, you must believe and not doubt.  You have to be convinced in your spirit that God will act in your situation, absolutely, no doubt, 100% garauntee.  This kind of faith is what allows you to step into the realm of the supernatural, laying hands on the sick and seeing them recover.  Too many times we are just hoping.  Not really believing.  You may ask, “Well how much faith is enough faith?”  It’s not about quantity.  It’s about certainty. The simple childlke faith that your Father God loves you and you can believe and trust Him for all things in His word.

Sometimes a healing prayer can bring an instantaneous deliverance and healing on the spot.  In other cases, such as our case I believe there is a fight involved.  We can’t do away with the fact that we are in a war against evil and must claim the things God has promised us that the enemy would like to snatch away.  God’s word says,

“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

In addition, a friend recently gave us a 27 page document filled with scriptures on healing.  It teaches how reading and meditating on God’s Word provides actual healing to our bodies and minds.  Through the process of reading, BELIEVING and absorbing the Word of God daily we can be restored.  There is much more I can say about the topic of divine healing, including the issues of unconfessed sin in our lives, harboring unforgiveness, demonic strongholds, and the role of our faith in our healing, but those are topics for many future blog posts.

An exciting thing happened in June.  When I hit my knees to intercede for David, the Holy Spirit lifted up a shout of triumph within me.  The only way I can describe it is like a linebacker touchdown dance after scoring the winning goal in the last three seconds in the game.   These words started flowing out of my mouth, “Victory is here!  Victory is here!  Start Rejoicing!!”  All I could do was hoot and holler, praising God, jumping up and down!   Something had changed in the realm of the Spirit.  There was a breakthrough, and God wanted us to know.  In successive prayer sessions when I would start out in tears, within mere minutes God would say the exact same thing, with victory shouts erupting in my spirit.  One day He gave me a mental picture of the Old Testament Israelite army coming back to their camp after a war, having wiped out their enemies.  I saw the people picking up tambourines and cymbals, celebrating, singing, dancing, rejoicing.  God kept saying to me over and over, “There’s victory in the camp!  There’s victory in the camp!”  He told me that the healing was here, and all I needed to do now was usher it in on the wings of rejoicing.  WOW!!!!

Not more than a week later David was out of town on business when a stranger to his diagnoses walked up to him and said, “God wants me to tell you that healing is coming soon.”  Hallelujah!!  And all of this time I’ve been holding that August calendar date close to my heart – wondering.  Could it be possible that God had spoken to me the date so that I would be comforted, knowing how much longer I would have to carry the burden?  Could He have spoken it as a sign and a wonder so that people who don’t believe God still speaks in these kinds of ways could be stunned and amazed?  Could He have spoken it to build up our faith even more, knowing that on that day we could have unwavering faith, completely expecting our miracle?  I believe the answer to all of these questions is yes.

God spoke in very clear terms to me and to others that we don’t even need to ask for healing one more time.  IT’S HERE.  So how does that work?  Well, we’ve prayed it through, and now we are just waiting for the miraculous manifestation.  God has a perfectly fabulous way of doing everything so He will receive the most glory and accomplish his multi-faceted purposes.  One of my friends asked me, what if David is healed already???  Well, as much as I wish it were so, we know it’s not the case because David is still having his daily mini-seizure with numbness, tingling and temporary speech loss.  But make no mistake, David WILL be healed very soon.  I am standing in faith that it’s going to happen in the month of August because I believe this is what God has spoken to us.  In other encouraging news, a week or so ago a dear man of God that we respect very much also heard a word for us in prayer, and said he could confirm that David would be healed in August.  This is just a sampling of the many additional messages God has sent to confirm this very thing.

So what I have been dying to share with the world, is not that we are hoping for a miracle.  We are expecting a miracle.  I am so sure of what God has spoken to us that I am willing to put it on the internet and make a complete fool of myself.  Smith Wigglesworth calls it “Daring to believe God.”  So for all of the beautiful hearts out there who have labored with us in prayer, from the deepest part of me I want to thank you.  But now I want to tell you that it’s time to quit asking for healing, and at the word of the Lord, start PRAISING HIM THAT ITS HERE!   Start the rejoicing, start the feasting.  Let’s usher it in with a shout of victory!   I am so excited for the glory and fame of God in this!  Even last night at the restaurant I couldn’t help telling our server, “We believe in Jesus, and He said that He is going to heal my husband’s brain cancer!  I will come back with the clean MRI and show you!!!”

I honestly am so filled with excitement.  I wish everyone could feel and know what is in my heart right now.  If you don’t know Jesus, you simply have to give Him your heart, your soul, your everything!  There is truly nothing else worth living for.  Drink of Him and you will never be thirsty again.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!  Psalm 126:5

A few days ago was our 5 year wedding anniversary!  So many people are praying for us- friends, family, even those we’ve never met.  It’s a blessing I cannot fathom sometimes.  I’m thankful I can share the things God is doing so that you can join with us in the excitement of what is coming!  We have this photo hanging in our dining room and whenever I look at it I’m reminded that our future is so bright!

In my last post I announced that David’s supernatural healing is knocking at the door; which probably left some of you wondering, “Well, how can she know that?  Is she just trying to sound Christian and cheerful?  Is she hoping to manifest a reality using the power of positive thinking?”  Well, no, it’s none of those things.  It’s simply my faith in the myriad of ways God is speaking.  So please allow me to continue sharing bits of the story.  Faith the size of a mustard seed can go a long way.  There will always be those who doubt, but I’m willing to take a chance on God.

After we first received the horrible news I vacillated between complete faith and total despair.  During initial times at Mayo Clinic I was so full of the Holy Spirit that I would beam at the doctors, even while they delivered horrible news!  I recall in particular a meeting with the brain surgeon after the biopsy.  I think he was seriously concerned that I wasn’t understanding the gravity of the situation because of the look on my face.  Believe me, I was hearing him.  I just couldn’t stop smiling because God’s presence was filling me with so much hope and love!  With all due respect to the brilliance and concern of the surgeon, all I could think was, “Oh, silly doctor.  I serve the God who made the whole universe!  You do not have the final say.  HE does!!”

Then there were darker moments. Like the time we first saw the MRI with the mass on it – one of the scariest moments of my life.  I’ll never forget sitting in that cold, sterile clinic with serious faces staring back at me.  The dream like quality of it all.  The horror.  The professional, yet compassion-infused delivery of a severe diagnoses.  They try to paint it in the best light, yet somehow you see through it all.  You know they are saying He’s going to die.  That it’s only a matter of time.  Worse than their words is the black and white brain scan screaming CANCER! and how the loss of everything most dear to you is personified in a large splotch of dye in a photograph.  At the end of the appointment I was left alone in the room with the freaky MRI, like a private date with the devil himself.   But I wasn’t about to let the devil have the last laugh.  God was there in that room as well, and something rose up with me…A SONG OF PRAISE!  Calling every ounce of courage I had, I stared into the tumor and sang over and over what God Himself put inside of me, the song I knew from Sunday school as a child, “Hallelu, Hallelu, Hallelu, Hallelujah!!!  PRAISE YE THE LORD!”

In those first few weeks it really was a game of tug of war between fear and faith. “Sure, God can heal.  But will he heal?  And has he promised me anything?”  I started dwelling on the “what-ifs,” morbidly imagining a cold spot in the bed next to me at night.  At the end of a two week bout of depression consisting of unwashed hair and lying in bed 24-7, I finally threatened God that if He didn’t do something miraculous and get me out of bed, I was going to go on medication, and that would look really bad for Him because He had already miraculously healed me of severe depression and heavy meds many years ago!  In fact, I even showed Him how serious I was by making a doctor’s appointment.  I don’t know why He is so gracious sometimes in responding to our threats, but in His mercy I was out of bed and functioning normally again within 24 hours.  It was only His hand that did that for me.

As I continued to seek God with all of my heart,  He began speaking louder to me, impressing on my spirit that David would be healed completely.  One night I had a dream that really affected me.  I dreamed that David was getting worse, the doctors only had bad news and his alternative treatment wasn’t working, and then BAM – me and several other people layed our hands on his head and prayed, and I saw the glory of God go into his tumor, and David fell to the floor.  When I awoke I knew it represented a divine healing.  And in what seemed like an almost overnight transformation I was given perfect peace about the outcome.  Although I didn’t have the rest of the puzzle pieces, the hows and whens, I just knew that Jesus didn’t want me moping and contemplating about being a widow.  God was at work.

In time He gave me greater revelation about the vision I’d had with the dark figure.  Nestled within it was an important message – the sickness was NOT from God, as though an affliction to be submissively carried with God’s sovereignty in mind.   The sickness was a plan from the enemy.  And if I wanted to see the mighty hand of God move, I “had to know who God was, I had to know His promises.” There was a battle to be won.  And just like in the vision, I had to stand firm!!  So instead of dwelling on theological arguments about healing and hearsay of other’s experiences, I decided to go straight to the Bible and just believe what it said.  This is just a sampling of what I found.

I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.  Luke 10:19

If you will listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his sight, obeying his commands and keeping all his decrees, then I will not make you suffer any of the diseases I sent on the Egyptians; for I am the LORD who heals you. Exodus 15:26

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.  But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:4

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases.  Psalm 103:3

Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge, Even the Most High, your dwelling place, No evil shall befall you, Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.  In their hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone.  You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, the young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.  Psalm 91:9-13

Submit yourselves therefore to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  James 4:7

And these signs shall follow them that believe; in my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; they shall take up serpents, and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick and they shall recover.  Mark 16:17,18

Oh God’s word is amazing!  Deciding to have faith instead of fear changed everything for me!  It changed the way I thought, it changed the way I prayed.  It started a faith explosion, and laid a foundation for God to tell me more.  It seems like every person we’ve talked to this year has the same instinctive response – David will be healed.  From every direction God keeps sending the same message.

Because this post is getting rather lengthy I will end with this part of the story.  In February I had a very strange and significant dream.  All was black, there were no visuals. I could only hear voices.  I was eaves dropping on a conversation between me and the Lord.  Astoundingly, I was verbally wrestling Him, imploring repeatedly,  “I want a date!  Give me a date for David!  I want to know the date!”  And just before I awoke I heard the Lord’s voice answer back with a date in August.

I grabbed my iPhone and immediately marked it on my calendar.  I knew the Lord had spoken to me, but what was the significance of the date?  Could I dare to hope?

To be continued….

“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You: because he trusts in You”  Isaiah 26:3

There is something that I know.  Something God has downloaded into my spirit.  God has given me perfect peace that David will be healed completely from cancer, despite the death order satan tried to hand him.  Hallelujah!  Some people might call that fantasy thinking, denial, or some psychological coping method.  The scoffers can call it whatever they want.  But when God puts something in you by the power of the Holy Spirit, it is beyond supernatural.  You know that you know, that you know, that you know, that you know.  It’s called the gift of faith, and it can empower you to believe for very difficult circumstances.

A year staring down the barrel of a gun called cancer has been a process of transformation in my thinking.  I was forced to draw lines in the sand about what the Bible says and what I am willing to believe.  I had to ask questions like “Is it God’s will to heal in all circumstances?  Are we promised healing?  Did Jesus death pay for our healing?  What about the Christians who pray for healing and don’t receive it?  Will it shipwreck my faith if I believe God for healing and it doesn’t happen?  What role does our faith play in receiving our healing?”  The list of questions goes on and on.   I have read scores of books, listened to sermons, and talked to cancer survivors as well as those who have lost loved ones.  It may take me several posts to get this all out, but I want to tell you some important parts of the story and share what God has done in my life.

Let me back up to the beginning, before we knew about the tumor.  Last summer David went out of town for a week long business trip to San Francisco.  At that point in time I still really struggled with staying home alone.  Gripped with irrational fear at night, I had a terrible time falling asleep.  If I owned a shotgun I would have slept with it in my arms.  But since I’m not a fan of fleeing my own home just because I feel afraid at night, I decided to brave the week alone and allow God to keep growing me in this area, no matter how uncomfortable.

On the first or second day that David was away I spent the afternoon praying and listening to this message, by Carter Conlon at Times Square Church. I was overcome by the Holy Spirit and found myself sobbing and sobbing. (Sorry I know all of my stories involve a lot of weeping, but that’s what the Holy Spirit does to us sometimes! Also, if you are a true seeker and you listen to that message you may very well sob, too!)  It was one of those things where it resonates so deeply within you, mirroring your thoughts and feelings, validating everything that is screaming inside of you.  It echoed the war cry going off in my spirit, “I WILL SEEK HIM AND FIND HIM NO MATTER WHAT THE COST!”   I am a woman desperate for the fullness of God.  This desperation is never going to go away.  There is a hunger God puts inside of you that can never be satiated.  I want to know God as the people in the Bible did.  I desire the revelation of Him that causes you to see heaven opened while you are being stoned to death.  I remember crying that day til I thought I would be sick, telling God that I had no testimony except what He would give to me to share with the world.  Exhausted and overwhelmed, I fell into a deep sleep on the couch.

While I was sleeping God gave me a dream, although it was so real and experiential that it would probably categorize more as a vision.  In this vision, a woman came up to me with a Bible in her hands.  She urgently beseeched me, “You have to know who HE IS!  You have to know his promises!!” I walked past her, up a flight of stairs and into a large empty loft space.  As my eyes adjusted to the dim light on the back wall I was able to make out a mural of the Lord’s Supper.  Suddenly out of the mural emerged a dark figure wearing a black cloak like the grim reaper.  He had the face of death and hell.  He locked eyes with me, and with intent to kill he rushed toward me with all the fury of hell in his gait.  He accelerated in speed as he approached his target.

With my feet firmly planted, immovable, I simply stretched my hand out in front of me with fingers spread.  As I did this, the very power of God began to surge through me and out through my finger tips.  It felt like a cold, wet, electric current running all up and down my body.  It was so intense that I could feel it in my very waking flesh even though I was still asleep.  I stood firm and with fearless authority I began to command, “Flee from me, satan! I resist you in the name of Jesus!  Flee from me, satan, I RESIST YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS!”  Over and over I shouted this as face of death rushed toward me.

And in this vision, my feet never moved.  I never faltered. I had unwavering boldness.  No fear. I was completely saturated with the power of God.  The voltage of it was so strong that it jolted me out of my dream just as the dark figure reached my face. I awoke with a start, the feeling still tingling from head to toe.  The whole room looked different, even the air looked different.  In shock and awe, I knew I’d had some sort of heavenly encounter.  The only words I could manage were, “Lord?  What was that??”   Now, I’m not the master interpreter of dreams and visions, but I knew enough to know that God was showing me something was headed my way.  Something big. And by the looks of it, I wasn’t going to like it.

But He had also shown me something greater.  I didn’t need to be afraid.  He would cause me to stand.  I WOULD NOT BE MOVED.

After this encounter the Lord’s presence was very peaceful and heavy all around me for the rest of the week.  Miraculously, I had no fear the whole time David was gone!  For anyone who has struggled with panic disorder or extreme fear, you know what a miracle that truly is.  In fact, I was full of joy.  I spent the week praising God, singing songs out of the hymnal, just being with Him, soaking up the peace He was pouring out all over me.  It was like a continual flow. On the last night that David was gone I felt so relieved that I had made it through the week and I couldn’t wait to see him the next day.

I woke in the morning to the sound of my phone ringing repeatedly.  Half asleep I reached over and saw it was one of David’s work partners.  The first thing I heard on the other end of the line was a panicked voice asking me if David had any history of seizures.  Through the chaos and confusion of the telephone game, I learned that David had just dropped to the floor with a grand mal seizure and was unconscious on a hospital gurney, thousands of miles away.  And that night we learned he had a large mass in his head. Brain cancer.  I think we can all use our imaginations here to construct the emotional unraveling of those first few weeks of doctors appointments, plane rides, sleepless nights and continual bad news.  Inoperable.  Nothing we can do besides chemo and radiation.  He’s got maybe 10 years left to live.

Was I afraid? Yes. Was I traumatized?  Yes.  But there was also something else at work.  Something bigger.  Something God deposited inside of me greater than any fear.  And this is the testimony that God has given to me to share with the world.

Oh there is just so much to tell but if there is one thing I’d like to stress, it’s that this story isn’t about us at all.  It’s about God.  He is using our situation to show His power and glory.  Not only his power to sustain and to cause you to walk through the fire without being burned, but also his HEALING power.  And this is where I will pick up with more of this story tomorrow-  I know that David’s supernatural healing is coming very soon.

In fact, it’s knocking at the door.

I don’t have many words today as I sit here dumb struck by God’s hand in my life.  I just wanted to pour out a thank you to the Lord for being so kind to me.  For being so attentive to my needs.  For sending help just in the nick of time.  For sending strength when I was running so low.  Now I feel His arms around me.  I see the answers from heaven rushing forth in a mighty wind.  He sent messengers to me, full of faith and the Holy Ghost.  Today He answered me.  Today He sent help straight from His sanctuary.  It was miraculous.  Simply miraculous.

There is no one like our God.  We can’t even grasp a speck of the true depth to which He loves us.  Our understanding is so limited.  He is working in my life right now in ways I only thought were possible in story books.  He is such a reality, such a powerful God.  There is nothing He won’t do for us.  I could praise Him every hour of every day for the rest of my life, and there would never be enough words, never enough songs to do Him justice.  He is truly the only thing worth living for.

If you can’t find the strength to do anything else today, just praise the Lord and feel how when we turn our eyes to His love and greatness the cares of the world start to melt away in light of how big He is.  I can’t wait to see Him face to face.

Psalm 117

Praise the Lord, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples.

For great is his love toward us,

and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.

Praise the Lord.

There are moments over this past year that I would not want to re-live for anything.  Days and days of satan putting all kinds of oppression and lies in my mind.  Then there were days of such intense joy and victory, prayer, faith and shouting!  I love this Spirit-filled walk because every day with God is like an adventure.  I wake up in the morning, my feet hit the ground and I just never know what God is going to do that day, what challenge I might face, or what major revelation might smack me in the face.  I find myself every day saying, “God, I’m just so thankful to be your daughter!”

Last fall I’d been praying so much about being set free from the things of this world.  I want to walk in the spiritual realm, knowing I am a citizen of heaven.  I was earnestly seeking God to help demolish all worldly strongholds until nothing was left but my intense, fiery longing for the things of Him.  I wanted all my concerns about life, health, finances, career, material things and physical comforts to just fall off me like an old garment so that I could walk worthy of my calling in Christ, trusting Him for all things, truly experiencing freedom.  I wanted to completely lose my life so that I might find it.  And I desperately, desperately wanted to start walking with God more in the supernatural.  I wanted to really hear from him.  But I was feeling discouraged.  Tired. Worn down from the battle for my faith in the trial.

In December I set out one day to do my Christmas shopping rather late in the game.  I turned up the praise music in my car and was singing along as I drove to the mall.  God’s presence descended all around me and I was so enraptured in the moment, praising Him.  While driving down busy 28th street  I spotted a middle-aged man in a winter coat with a cardboard sign that read, “NEED HELP.” Now I don’t know about you, but it seems a little hypocritical to be praising Jesus loudly in your car while feeling His presence but then just drive past the person by the road with a sign saying they need help.  I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to pull over and give him some money.

I swerved into the lot next to him, reached into my wallet, pulled out some cash and walked up to the busy road to talk with him.  I told him that I didn’t know if I could help him, but that I could give him some money and pray for him if he would allow me.  He cheerfully agreed, telling me how He believes in and loves Jesus.  He said his name was Daryl.

It was then that I noticed his twinkly eyes and merry smile.  He didn’t fit the profile of the stereotypical man on the street.  This guy seemed more like Santa Claus.  Of course, he had the typical story about being on disability and needing rent money while he waited for his disability check to come through and all of that.  But the truth was, chatting with him he was so polite, well spoken and kind.  I just truly liked him!

Now I am a bit of a novice when it comes to praying for strangers on the street I’m not going to lie, but since God has hijacked my life completely I’m really up for anything these days.  I put my hand on his arm and stumbled through a prayer the best I could despite my awkwardness, hoping that God would bless it despite my nerves.  As soon as I said Amen he jumped right in as though he’d been itching for me to finish, and looking me intently in the eye he said, “Now I’ve got a word for you, young lady if you have a moment.”  He spoke with such excitement.  I was feeling a bit sheepish on the inside but I wanted to hear it.  So he began quoting from memory the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 4 in an enthusiastic, emphatic voice,

“Therefore we do not lose heart! Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.  For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.“

And I’m telling you the minute he started speaking, the anointing fell on me and tears just started running down my face.  Joy unspeakable began filling my heart.  It was like God was speaking right to me.  Daryl continued talking, or preaching to me rather, saying, “You see this stuff all round us? (pointing at the sidewalk and cars) It’s all gonna fade away!  It’s nothing!  I serve a God who owns streets of gold!  I’m not living for this temporal stuff.  Everything we go through here is just passing away.  I know what’s waiting for me up there!  I’m living for the eternal!”

At this point I was just staring at him with a slap happy, ridiculous smile on my face, tears streaming, nose sniffling, completely God-wrecked.  Suddenly it starts dawning on me that here I thought that God had me pull over so I could bless this man, when in fact, God wanted me to pull over so he could bless ME.

First of all, aw-striking.  Second of all, um, humbling.  Third of all, I just don’t have any words for the SUPERNATURAL touch of God that happened when this man spoke to me.

Strangely, I just felt so connected to him as though he were my very brother.  I felt our kinship in Christ. I felt that we were one and the same.  Before I knew what was even happening I unexpectedly threw my arms around his neck and hugged him. (And if you know me I do not hug strange men).   As I walked away I turned back over my shoulder to wave goodbye.  He shouted back with a smile and wink, “I’ll see YOU again someday!”  Even that revelation filled me with joy inexpressible, excited at the thought that we are not of this world and we will all be re-united.

I got in my car and I tell you that the rest of the day I was so full of the GLORY.  God never ceases to amaze me with the antics he pulls.  That whole encounter was about God speaking to the wilderness of my heart, letting me know how He hears my prayers, how He cares intensely about my needs and desires to hear from Him in tangible and supernatural ways.  He encouraged me, filled me up and astonished me all at the same time.  We serve a God who is so much bigger than the box we’ve put Him in.

In fact, I think something about Daryl was a little fishy.  I felt like I was on an episode of Highway to Heaven.  His story was too polished. His clothes were too clean.  He knew the scriptures too well.  He saw straight through me.  And furthermore Daryl’s eyes were twice as sparkly as Micheal Landon’s.

When I think back to that day, I marvel at God.  Even though Daryl’s sign seemed to read “NEED HELP” I believe that sign was specifically for me and it was ironically saying “NEED HELP??” And yes, most days I do need help!  Major, major help from heaven!!

God, I love you with all my heart and I thank you that you care about us so intensely.  Thank you for sending Jesus to die for us!  I’m so thankful to be your daughter!

“Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”  Hebrews 13:2